Thursday, August 23, 2012

The things you never see........

It all began with the sharing of some wonderful news for our family!

Then came....
The Accusations!
The Judgments!
The Hateful and hurtful comments!
The criticism of our family, our Faith, our values and our family size!
Our supposed lack of contentedness with where we are now!
The assertions based on....well....... we can't work it out really.

Where does it come from?
Why would they act that way?

They know so little about us. They know nothing of the years we have been gone from anything resembling a close relationship that may have been a product of the past.
They know nothing of our own hardships that we have endured over the last years.
The traumas we have suffered, the financial struggles, the choices we have made when we had none to choose from, the separations and how that has affected each one of us, the heartbreak of medical problems.
They know nothing of these events. They have chosen time and again to not be part of our lives, they know not how these situations have affected us...... and yet they judge!

They judge our lives based on their own perceptions of us, based  on their own responses to how they think we should live our lives, rather than through the eyes of love, rather than through the eyes of Jesus who truly does  know our thoughts our motives and our hearts.

In fact it all brings back to mind the time we shared other good news and were summarily treated with spite, vindictiveness and malice.
Something I have a hard time understanding. The level of commitment to such negative feelings is beyond my power of comprehension.

And it leads me to wonder how I/we react when we see people with whom we know even just by sight in our own lives, let alone on a more personal or intimate relationship.
What I mean is - when I see that lady at the shop who never seems to smile, that man at church who always has a kind word or action for others.
Is what I see an indication of their lives and how good or bad it is? And does this influence how I think of them and, yes, even the way I treat them.
Do I judge based on my own assertions of what I imagine their life must be like simply from my very slight observations of them and they way they look and act?
Do I dare to presume I know their troubles or good times and then think I am justified in my treatment of them in a certain way?
Do I treat them as I would want to be treated?

Or is it that some people will always see the good in others, will always try to help, will quickly ask forgiveness for a wrong committed and look for an opportunity to 'go the extra mile' for another in need.
While others will ALWAYS see the reasons why it is unfair that someone else has that house, that opportunity, that relationship or any other thing that their own life is lacking.

Because frankly we only ever see part of the story. Even with very close friends or family they can not know all the ins and outs that go on in our lives and more importantly in our HEARTS.

You see God has a plan for each one of us and he gives us challenges that are for each one of us alone.
How dare we suggest that just because we only see the outward appearance of a seemingly content and gracious person that obviously they have not had to deal with any problems in their lives.

HOW WRONG YOU ARE!

What might be a major struggle for them may be only a slight discomfort to you!
What may be a daily battle with an 'opportunity' does not even come into your horizon!
The things we see are not everything. What we behold as we look at someone is but a section of who each person fully is and but a fraction of their complete  lives.

To judge others by what we see of their lives, and the things we THINK we see and THINK we know is entirely wrong.
You can never understand all the emotional, physical and mental stress that others have been through - unless you have been through the exact same thing with the exact same set of circumstances they have.
Even if they lay it all out on the table, visible for all to see, you can not see or feel the intensity of the internal struggles or emotions that go along with a life and a persons particular circumstances.

However, hopefully we can all relate a little to an other's plight so we can be there to support, encourage, uplift and pray with those we have been blessed to know in these circumstances.
For it is a blessing God has opened up to us, if we find ourselves in this circumstance. An opportunity to give of ourselves that will ultimately be a blessing to others BUT to us as well - But only if you grasp the opportunity to be that someone.

So next time you see someone who seems to have it all together or even someone who looks like they do need a hand, why not look at them through the eyes of Love and ask......
What would Jesus Do?

Blessings to you and your homes,
 

4 comments:

Maria said...

I learned the hard way that all is not what it appears. I am sorry that you have received so much anger towards your decision.

I think it is because it is hard to understand the decisions of others and the why they do what they do...so we take the easy route to say our opinions, even if it is not asked, and say what we feel.

It is hard to let others be. It is hard to allow others to live their lives as they see it. We don't know the whole of the person, but only a very small part of the whole.

Praying that this decision is the right one. Praying that Our Lord will give you the strength necessary to withstand all the naysayers in your life.

Be blessed today Gae,

m.

allisamazing said...

We have been judged so many times and it hurts. On the other hand, it has taught our family to never judge - to never assume something about others - and to never listen to what someone has to say about another. Your post is a great reminder to love others. Thanks for sharing :)

evensong's januarylily said...

I am sorry Gae that you experienced such a hurtful heart break. I will keep you in my prayers! I will keep those who troubled you in my prayers as well. Blessings always,
Sue

Josette said...

I am sorry that this has happened to you.

I did, not so long ago, go through a very painful experience. IT was even more painful because the people who I confide and go to and for encouragement were the ones accusing me. I could not defend myself without injuring another's good name and so I endured constant critism, major depression and finally in a heated and accusing argument I finally broke down in tears and told the person "why it had to be that way". I still feed bad because in doing so, the other person I was trying so hard to save their reputation, was exposed. If only the people I loved had trusted me and left it at that...to this day they will never know how much that hurt me.
I do try to remember Our Lord's words, "they hated Me, before they hated you".
If He could walk the earth and He was pefection itself, and they found fault with Him, than how could we ever go through life without some critism. It's hard to bear and we should all remember that we all have a different cross to bear.

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