Saturday, March 12, 2011

Ash Wednesday...a reflection!

Our Hawthorn Crown of Thorns
As this is the day, well a few days now after Ash Wednesday and I feel a little more relaxed from all the preparations I have trying to do...... I write this as a bit of a confession.

I love our liturgical year.......I love the fact that we can and have so many opportunities to grow closer to Jesus as we look at his life in the Lent and Advent seasons.We are also fortunate that we can look at the lives of the saints who lived their lives for Christ and have been examples of how much God loves us and can use us for His Glory.
Soaking the Hawthorn for the crown
There are so many opportunities for us to grow in our Christian lives and one of the greatest is the season of Lent.
How I had great plans for the things I would research and have ready for our family. Alas even now I have not made the Gratitude books for our children to use.
Our Palm Crosses from last year ready to be burned
However our lives are very full and as each season or major feast day comes we usually have many other 'opportunites' or family projects (birthday, etc) that do no allow me free rein with these plans.

Perhaps this is to the best - as I just want to do it all!!!!
I want to use every opportunity to show and for our children to experience the wonder of God and how he is present in our lives and our Church Year.

Burning the Palm Crosses
I want our children to have the joy and wonder of these days that will be wonderful memories that they will remember and perhaps even continue in their own lives. There are so many teachable moments in these special liturgical times and my desire is to not miss any one of them......but that means I need to not let the preparing be the most important thing and let the  beauty of the season be in their hearts.

I see this Lenten season as a time for me to slow down and not to try to do and achieve so much. This is so hard for me! I want to create: create memories, create projects, to offer our children and our home- actual home made projects and gifts.
Last years palms ..gone
As I am in the last trimester of our baby's growth I honestly cannot say I have ever been so tired. Never have I experienced this level of tiredness and lack of ability to do things. Not just the day to day but the things I find restful and add to my feeling of contentment. I am tending to fall asleep with the younger children and sleep late. I sometimes am able to stay up late and achieve a few things but really not much.

I want to do so much but physically am not able to do it...and for some reason I am emotionally  tired as well. For all my great Lenten preparations and sacrifices I desire to make I have not even started well.
Ashes to the wind
So perhaps this is where God is calling me this Lent.

To let go!

To rest in the security of His Arms and be at peace with where I am and the lack of what I can not do.

To truly just be at the cross and endure with Him.

Blessings to you and your homes,


Anonymous said...

Gae Your dd has Your Joy !
I have a confession Gae I too wanted to burn our cedar bunches from last palm sunday and still have not done it !!
still I feel content and comfortable and I am just being who I can be right now .
Gae we are having a blizzard right now !

Anonymous said...

It takes quite a bit for women, like you and me Gae, to admit this.

I am glad that you have allowed Our Savior to show you in Him dear friend and grow closer to Him during this very blessed time.


Trish said...

Gae, I think it's one thing to be hard on ourselves and another to be hard on our sins.
For me this Lent is proving more introspective and quieter than in the past.
Perhaps the Lord just wants your stillness at this time.
For a 'doer' like yourself, that would be a sacrifice.
I pray you get more rest, my dear friend :-)
God bless you and your lovely family..Trish


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