Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Circle of Life.............

On Friday evening our oldest boys left home!
Yes that is right and our lives are forever changed with this event.
Our Kynan is off for a year of work placement in relation to his University studies and this takes him  a very, very long way from home for the year with very little chance of much holiday time and thus chance to come home to visit. I can just barely cope with this separation.

However the really hard one to deal with at the moment is the fact that Braedon has secured a permanent trainee ship with The Department of Roads and Maritime Services as a Design Engineer. He will work full time and do his University studies part time. This is a wonderful and exciting opportunity for him, the down side for us is that it also is interstate and a long way form home.
For us left at home we are dealing with the devastation of having a son and brother 'leave home.'

Let me tell you, this has been an enormous struggle for me to let go in such a dramatic way. To see our son go so far from home and know he will only return for visits. His special little buddy, Myffwyn, who he has had such a special relationship with since she was a baby, is struggling too and today was snuggled up on his bed trying to cope with what she really does not understand.

I know in time the heartbreak will grow less, and yet in a way I dread the thought that I could ever get used to  not being so affected by this. I never want to care less than I do now and fear the fact I may grow complacent in my devotion to these boys who who do not live here at home full time with us.

Sadly this is the great 'circle of life' and while I rejoice for our boys and their achievements it seems such a short time ago that they were our 'little ones.'

I think of all the memories we made together as a family and pray that this sustains them as they encounter difficulties and attacks on them and what they believe in, because I believe this will come as they leave the safety of home and create places for themselves in the wider world.. I pray they remember the happy times at home and still think of it as a sanctuary and place of love and joy.

I also pray that we have given all we can in the formation of their souls in the time allotted us but as I ponder this I know we still could have done more and worry we have not done enough, sigh!

It is a tough world out there and our children, the children of this age face so much more soul destroying lifestyle choices than ever before. The world we live in is a ME world with emphasis on what makes ME happy. The 'don't be concerned about anyone else as long as it is OK with ME.' attitude.

So much of what our children are up against is the result of selfish attitudes that lead to moral decay. What is scary about this is that the general population does not seem to have a problem with this and seems to actually encourage this in our young people. I struggle to understand the lack of values and morals in our society today.

We all  know it is hard to stay strong in this world! We encounter much opposition to our Faith and moral standards s and it can be tiring  to constantly having to defend what should not even be questioned. It is harder to stay on the path of righteousness these days as the expectations of young people are so very low. Constant vigilance and prayer can be the only way to help our children with this, not only by themselves but by us as parents.
I see that a lot of my role as a mama to young adults living away from home is constant prayer for their safety- physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.

As I look at the children we still have with us at home I can't help but think of the past memories and feel so very sad that they will not be part of the ones we continue to make here at home, except by visiting and being in contact via phone etc. The memories we build with the little ones who are just remembering those times now and the older children who have a part to play in the past memories as well as the future ones, and as the circle of life continues we must continue to do so.

We need to continue to adjust our little family circle so that when the time comes to leave our nest (oh, and it will come faster than I will ever be ready for) that each child has those constant and sustaining memories to hold onto.

So as a mother who now has those children entering a new phase of life I would say to you mothers who only have little ones - to enjoy every moment with your little ones as the time goes way too fast.
It seems only a minute ago that I remember older mama's saying this and not understanding really - and yet now I do!
I am so thankful that we still have these little ones  to love and  care for and prepare for their lives ahead and want to so enjoy all the memory making opportunities with them.

I want to prepare  our children to be a witness to the world as they leave our protective family circle and pray they are able to set forth with the grounding and formation of Christ in their lives and that they can live the good life, loving and serving our Lord and showing this in every inch of their lives.

Dear Lord give me the strength, patience, gentleness, determination and love, oh so very much love to achieve this goal. Thank you!

Blessings to you and your homes,


Gardenia said...

Dear Gae, what a struggle this surely is. I am praying for you during this time and for your sons as well that they will be safe and happy (and come home to visit!!)

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. Our son left home July of last year and only coimes home for a visit now and then. It is hard sometimes, but when I hear how good he is doing, it makes it all worth it !!
Have a wonderful day.

ccc said...

Gae--I echo all that you have said. It is sad to see our older ones go off on their own, yet it can be exciting too. I worry about them in this secular environment, but in keeping them home with us all those years, I believe we have given them a firm foundation...and praying unceasingly always helps!I mourn the loss of the younger ones not "knowing" the older ones. But, I think that God has designed large families in such a way that this has to be His plan and I will understand it better one day.
I, too, keep telling young families to treasure it since it goes away too fast---who would have thought that I would be the one saying that after so many moms told me that years ago!!!

Tiffany said...

Oh Gae, my heart truly goes out to you! I will be in your boat this summer and my heart already hurts. What a beautiful job you have done and the rest is up to the Lord. I admire your family and all that you are. Mother Mary be with you as you all adjust to the new changes. You will be in my close prayers!

maria said...

Sweet Friend...these times are so hard, but they are needed.

How blessed your sons are to come from such a strong foundation! From a place that is safe and that has taught them to be secure within the love they have for Our Savior.

Our Lord will give you the strength necessary to go through this my friend. Rest in Him always!

Grace & Peace,

Erin said...

So sad:( You made me so sad , not just for yourself but me too, boo hoo. I've been struggling to write my post and now, struggling still.

btw love your new header.

Trish said...

Your mother-heart beats to the same tune as mine.
You will not ever truly get used to the boys being gone from home.
Your love will always yearn for their return even while you rejoice over their victories and the way you see them maturing into men.
It is part of life..the hard letting go.
Helping them to make the transition to independance, which will enable them to achieve many necessary things in life, is your mission now.
They still need you, Gae!
THAT doesn't change...and you will be there for them.
Whether in person or in their will often be there at times that you'll know nothing of.
They will remember many things you told them, and when their faith is tested they will recall your steadfast devotion to God and draw strength from it for their own situations.
How do I know?
Because my boys are 25 and 30 this year, and we've had to see them through some rough times since they left home.
But God has always been faithful to our prayers for his protection over them, and they have grown to see for themselves just how He has been active on their behalf.
I know it grieves your heart to have them absent.
I wish I could wrap my arms around you and comfort you!
I'll tell you what the Lord told me to do..I'm sure He won't mind me sharing.
When I was feeling at my lowest over our second son and close to despair over the way he was then living, Jesus told me to place him in the Sacred Heart.
He said to me "Every day you are to say this prayer - Thank You Jesus for taking D into your Heart!"
And I can tell you, praying this made a difference!
This son began to be drawn to the image of the Sacred Heart without a word from me.
He even got a tattoo of it on his arm.
He wasn't sure why..he just suddenly wanted to have it done because it made him feel secure and closer to God.
Be encouraged, dear Gae.
You have done well, little mother!
God is at work - trust Him - and lean hard into His heart.
with much love...Trish


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...