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Monday, July 18, 2011
Stop That........You'll Spoil the Baby!
Have you ever had anyone say this to you?
I have on numerous occasions and only yesterday, Saturday, when Stephen and I were out shopping with Trahaearn.
Now the interesting thing about this was we had just gone into the local baby shop to have a look at some Baby Wearing apparel. I still am looking for the best option to buy to carry our dumpling around in. I thought rather than continue to look on line I would see what the local shop had and perhaps even get to try them on to assess what I liked. Yes, I am slow. I should have tried this before, but having tried to get things like this locally before I was not anticipating much success in getting what I needed.
However, into the shop we went with Stephen carrying little Trahaearn all snuggled up in his bunny rug. We had carried him for a quite some time (Stephen mostly) and he was asleep and most content. Trahaearn really is much more contented when being held rather than put down to sleep or left alone in his cradle or rocker?
Now we asked if we could see some of the baby carriers they had in stock. As we were just looking and chatting with the sales woman I said that Trahaearn loved to be held and did not like to be put down but preferred to be carried and I wanted something I could carry him in and still be hands free.
She said that 'oh you have made a mistake and spoiled him'.....blah, blah blah 'that she had 8 years difference between her 2 children and the younger one now 4 was spoiled because they carried her as a baby.'
This being her response when we said we were not using the Snuggli we bought nearly 22 years ago for our son. Obviously she thought that Trahaearn was the only child after Kynan. We were slightly amused at this and then enlightened her to the fact that the baby we were carrying was in fact number 12.
We did try on the baby carriers and I was so glad I did as the one I had been in favour of buying I found was really not going to work for us. What it did confirm was that a wrap around carrier is what Trahaearn preferred himself as he stayed asleep and settled when I put him in the wrap. BUT when I put him in the traditional strap-on ones he immediately woke up and protested. I could actually feel his discomfort and pain from being placed into this restrictive space and not snuggled in to the wrap style.
So we will be ordering online as it is cheaper this way, rahter than from the shop, this Australian wrap- Hug a Bub. Which to my eye looks the same as the Moby Wrap and Sleepy Wrap.
Enough of that now~
What I was distressed by during this conversation at the BABY shop was the fact that a baby should not be held and cuddled because this, wait for it---- spoils the baby.
How can this still be a thought in peoples minds?
A baby IS LOVE and dependence in it's purest form.
A baby gets all it's impressions through the eyes of those who care and tend for him.
A baby is a gift to love and cherish at all times.
When a baby cries he does so for a reason- hunger, needing a nappy change or comfort emotionally. We all need emotional comfort, so why wouldn't a baby?
So why would we not pick up a baby when it cries?
Of course this does not always fit in with my schedule and of course this is worse if you have a high needs baby, which I believe we have had more than our fair share of.
But once again a baby is a blessing ALWAYS and we put the baby first- SACRIFICIAL LOVE. Hence the desire for a baby carrier so I can give the baby the love and attention it needs as I tend to our other children and our home.
I think children are a great reminder of this in their immediate response to the cries of a baby. Each time a baby in our home has made the tiniest little cry the other children in the family want to tend to the baby. Never once has anyone said 'leave the baby, it will be ok'
Children often see what we as adults have forgotten to look for, the needs of those smaller and more helpless than we are. They see what we don't: that a baby who is wholly dependent upon us for all they have should not have to wait for our adult agenda to fit him in.
A baby can not be spoiled by too much love and attention!
Except for our Kynan (whom I cuddled to sleep) I have rocked all our babies to sleep in the rocking chair we bought just before Braedon was born.
Does this take more time? Sure it does! Is it worth it? You bet it is!
But what else should I have been doing if not caring and loving those sweet little blessings. And guess what they actually do grow up. I am not still rocking them to sleep, but the love and bonding that took place way back when they were babies I think was well worth the desire I had to pick them up and love them.
There is so much research I was going to share about the way babies can not be spoilt by carrying, and picking up when cried or cuddled a lot, but I won't. Perhaps at a later date!
What I will share is the loving testimony of a mother of 12 precious children who has had the privilege of caring for each baby by rocking, carrying and loving each special baby.
I can say quite honestly that I believe that not one of these children or young adults has been SPOILT by the lavishing of care and affection on them or of TOO MUCH LOVE!
I do believe that if we follow our 'mother hearts' in the care of our children that we will know the right and most caring way to respond to the blessings we have been given!
~ A mothers heart is a touch of God's love ~
Blessings to you and your homes,