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Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Love is a beautiful thing..
I find that our circumstances over the last few months have allowed the little children to get int o the habit of not wanting to do their assigsned seat work that I require of them as I teach them their Alphabet Path. They are happy to do the crafts and other interesting activities but the learning part is not as exciting.
As part of my dedication this year to really have some progress for both girls and especially for Moran, I devised a plan to do most of the actual seat work for the letters on Monday each week.
Of course I KNOW really that it takes time for new habits to establish and I really DO KNOW that I have to allow the time for this to happen. But in the reality of the day I did not allow for this to happen yesterday. I also know that poor little Moran will reach a point of 'overload' and that this will lead to a huge 'meltdown', but I was so intent on sticking to the schedule of what we HAD to do on Monday that I did not allow for my sweet little ones ACTUAL emotions and feelings.
Well by the time Myffwyn had complained about how much she 'hates school work' and just did as little as possible. Moran had hurried through her assigned pages and not done them to her best ability. Well I was disappointed with Moran's colouring pages as she really does enjoy this activity a lot and always wants more colouring to do. So I told her she would have to redo them (while Myffy was still fussing over her work) but I would help her with her letters.
As soon as I said it I realised that this was entirely wrong. However by this stage also Moran was past the period of being able to cope with it. I immediately said lets take a break and go out side but she was not able to adjust.
Our poor little darling just kept crying and repeating over and over that she didn't want a break and that she didn't know what I wanted her to do.
At this point I sent her to her room to try and get her to settle down.... not a happening thing. So I went up with her, while she was screaming still.
I laid down on her bed with her wrapped her up in a giant Mummy cuddle, which she returned, and then we spent a good deal of time snuggling and cuddling, Oh, and napping too.
When she was ready to get up we got up together had lunch and spent the afternoon doing our regular routine.
BUT the way Moran responded to what I had to say was so different. She was so sweet and caring, and told me she wanted to do her work tomorrow really well.
I really cant explain her change in attitude, not from anything I said or did to change her, but from me taking the time to cuddle and just BE with her.
How I know I undervalue this with the children. I know it makes a difference but the time to actually do this is sometimes not ever quite available.
I am reminded of this great quote that I try to remember in stressful times "When your child seems to deserve affection least, that's when they need it most"
I try to remember to be available to our children when they are having a meltdown.
I also know that having these 'special needs children' have re focused my parenting ideas to a more gentle and compassionate way of life.
I have been considering a post as well, I am part way through writing one on how having even 'mildly special needs children' changes me as a parent, and how I mother these special gifts.
So my sharing of how I responded to our children's obvious genuine need to be given time to adjust to a new routine, as we all need when we start something new. Is not to show how badly it was handled but to show my belief that ....love conquers all and that love shared is love returned.
Blessings to you and your homes,